how much to spend?
OK, there comes a time in every person’s life when they have to ask themselves. How much do I spend on a gift? I don’t want to look cheap, but do I even like these people? Well fret not, we created the level system. You can now rate the recipient on a 1-3 scale and BOOM, you’re ready to go.
[ YOU’RE WELCOME ]
LEVEL ONE
Welcome to the top. Feels nice right? OK, so this being the top, it is reserved for people you really like, or at least you want them to think you do.
LEVEL TWO
OK, this is the middle. Is it nice here? Ask a middle child. This level is great for the casual handout that says, You’re great, but I’m on a budget.
LEVEL THREE
Basement level. It is not as bad as it sounds. This is a great level for first dates and mass handouts. It says, Call me and better gifts are in your future.
THE COST
DOES NOT MATTER?
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING YOU DON’T FIND IN ONE OF OUR LEVELS? STEP BEHIND THE CURTAIN.
WELCOME TO THE VIP ROOM
Target Audience
Likely you already know what a target audience is, and you have identified yours. However, in the unlikely circumstance that you’re sitting there imagining that scene from Goonies where Chunk confesses targeting an audience, let me refresh you. Not all swag is created equal (Can I say that? PC CHECK). For example, let’s say you identified millennials as your target audience. It is important to select a piece of swag they will appreciate. Hand them a mouse pad with your logo on it, and your company will be ridiculed as a subject of many humor-filled conversations had in an generically unique environment with stacked log walls, bearded faces, and little wood pallets used as coasters.
SWAGGING COMPLETE
With our amazing breakthrough in swagging, your life is about to get pretty darn good. In fact swagging with us is so incredible you will finally have a new life experience to look back on fondly, and those old high school football days will slowly dissolve into the abyss of lesser memories. The video attached is actual* footage from a cinema-quality 4K security camera that happened to be at eye-level of one of our recent clients as he completed his first purchase.
*By actual, what we meant is stock video. The truth is, when we hid a secret camera to capture the footage of our client, his excitement was so full it melted the camera… That was a lie too, sorry. Life lesson: always tell the truth; lies are too hard to maintain.
START SELECTING YOUR SWAG NOW
We hope you enjoyed learning to use our site. What am I saying? Of course you did.
how much should i spend?
OK, there comes a time in every person’s life when they have to ask themselves. How much do I spend on a gift? I don’t want to look cheap, but do I even like these people? Well fret not, we created the level system. You can now rate the recipient on a 1-3 scale and BOOM, you’re ready to go.
[ YOU’RE WELCOME ]
LEVEL ONE
Welcome to the top. Feels nice right? OK, so this being the top, it is reserved for people you really like, or at least you want them to think you do.
LEVEL TWO
OK, this is the middle. Is it nice here? Ask a middle child. This level is great for the casual handout that says, You’re great, but I’m on a budget.
LEVEL THREE
Basement level. It is not as bad as it sounds. This is a great level for first dates and mass handouts. It says, Call me and better gifts are in your future.
THE COST
DOES NOT MATTER?
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING YOU DON’T FIND IN ONE OF OUR LEVELS? STEP BEHIND THE CURTAIN. WELCOME TO THE VIP ROOM
Target Audience
Likely you already know what a target audience is, and you have identified yours. However, in the unlikely circumstance that you’re sitting there imagining that scene from Goonies where Chunk confesses targeting an audience, let me refresh you. Not all swag is created equal (Can I say that? PC CHECK). For example, let’s say you identified millennials as your target audience. It is important to select a piece of swag they will appreciate. Hand them a mouse pad with your logo on it, and your company will be ridiculed as a subject of many humor-filled conversations had in an generically unique environment with stacked log walls, bearded faces, and little wood pallets used as coasters.
SWAGGING COMPLETE
With our amazing breakthrough in swagging, your life is about to get pretty darn good. In fact swagging with us is so incredible you will finally have a new life experience to look back on fondly, and those old high school football days will slowly dissolve into the abyss of lesser memories. The video attached is actual* footage from a cinema-quality 4K security camera that happened to be at eye-level of one of our recent clients as he completed his first purchase.
*By actual, what we meant is stock video. The truth is, when we hid a secret camera to capture the footage of our client, his excitement was so full it melted the camera… That was a lie too, sorry. Life lesson: always tell the truth; lies are too hard to maintain.
START SELECTING YOUR SWAG NOW
We hope you enjoyed learning to use our site. What am I saying? Of course you did.